Increased fees for court-connected settlement conferences take effect October 1, 2019. The slight fee increase for this alternative dispute resolution service is part of the new Circuit Court Fee Schedule containing multiple fee changes. These changes are a result of House Bill 3447.

The new fee for a domestic relations settlement conference now sits at $111 per party for settlement conferences before a judge when the proceeding is subject to a fee under ORS 21.155. The fee was previously $105 per party, based on the Circuit Court fee schedule, effective January 1, 2018. Prior to 2018, the fee for domestic relations settlement conferences was $100 per party.

For other settlement conferences before a judge when the proceeding is a civil proceeding not subject to a filing fee under ORS 21.155, the fee is now increased to $223 for each party. This settlement conference fee is an increase from the previous $210, which took effect January 1, 2018, and the previous $200, which was effective January 1, ORS 21.215 governs the state’s court-connected settlement conference fees.

The current Circuit Court Fee Schedule is available on the OJD website at https://www.courts.oregon.gov/Pages/fees.aspx. Remember that the cost of court fees, settlement conferences, mediation services, and attorney fees, are all issues that can be negotiated in nearly all alternative dispute resolution processes. For questions about court fee waivers or deferral procedures, see your local circuit court’s website or contact the circuit court.

OMA awarded 11 scholarships for community dispute resolution center (CDRC) volunteer mediators for the 2019 OMA Conference.  Volunteering with a CDRC is a wonderful opportunity for new mediators to gain experience, make connections in the mediator world, gain valuable mentoring opportunities and even attend the fall conference at a discounted rate.  Even experienced mediators often find volunteering with CDRCs very helpful.  They stay connected to their community, give back by mediating community and neighborhood issues and take advantage of the CDRCs continuing education opportunities.  There are 16 CDRCs in Oregon, reach out to your local center and explore what opportunities they may have for you!   https://law.uoregon.edu/explore/ADR-local-centers

This is the final installment of The Self-Care Series. Our goal for this year-long series was to help sustain you in your work and life by highlighting natural, holistic, healthy habits, and science-backed techniques for maintaining habits long-term. Our last article in the series is a recap of all the tips and ideas we’ve shared with you this year. 

 Photo by Danielle MacInnes on Unsplash

1. Nurturing Resilience with Self-Care

Successful mediators are adept at maintaining focus and energy in high-pressure situations and have the ability to recover from stress, challenges, and setbacks. In other words, mediators need to be resilient. One of the best strategies for building and maintaining your resilience is to establish healthy self-care habits that address your physical, emotional, spiritual, and mental well-being.

2. Habit-Change Strategies that Work 

Simple habit changes can make a big impact on the energy and passion you feel for your work. But, long-term habit change can be challenging to maintain. Relying on motivation and willpower is the wrong strategy. Find out how to be successful with your habits – even when you have LOW motivation to do so!

3. Earlier, Lighter Dinner

A busy workday often includes a quick lunch eaten on the go and then a bigger, heavier evening meal after the day is done. This is a norm in our culture, but it’s hard on the body and mind! Experimenting with the habit of eating an Earlier, Lighter Dinner can go a long way toward improving your capacity to do your work and enjoy your life.

4. Early to Bed

How you put yourself to bed and what time you turn off the lights makes a huge impact on your mood, energy, health, and longevity. Yet, our culture stigmatizes sleep, glorifying those who can push through an all-nighter and dismissing those who prioritize sleep as lazy or unmotivated. If you skimp on sleep, stay up late, have a hard time falling or staying asleep, and tend to wake up groggy and sluggish, create the habit of Early to Bed.

5. Start the Day Right

A great day today starts … yesterday. How you spend your evenings has everything to do with how you feel when you wake up in the morning. That’s why the habits of eating dinner early and light and going to bed early are so important. They set you up to sleep well and wake up energized. Now you can use your early morning energy to set your intention and practice other healthy habits that keep you feeling great all day long. 

6. Sitting in Silence

Resilience is the capacity to recover quickly from life’s difficulties. Resilience enables you to have a clear mind and calm response, even to difficult, stressful, or tragic events. With resilience, you can do work that is fun and meaningful, and makes a contribution to the world.

One very simple habit that will increase your resilience is the practice of sitting in silence.

7. The Truth About Habit Change

One of the most important strategies for successfully changing your habits is to enlist the support of others. You can enlist the support of co-workers, friends, coaches, and teachers who will help you reach your goals by providing accountability and encouragement.

8. Holiday Season Self-Care

Holiday time offers an extra-rich load to our senses of taste, touch, scent, sight, and sound. It can take us to the edge of overstimulation (and beyond). Overdoing it can lead to all kinds of trouble, from the expected fatigue and seemingly inevitable sinus infection, to other kinds of dis-ease in your mind and spirit. Ease holiday stress by trying a practices that nourish and care for your precious five senses.

9. Holiday Season Self-Care – Relationship Edition

Relationship challenges are often intensified during the holidays. Whether the friction sparks a big blow up or it smolders under the surface, relationship stress can put a damper on the season and take a toll on your well-being. I sat down with Lael Petersen, Life Coach and Licensed Clinical Social Worker to get some tips on how to navigate relationship challenges. 

Photo by Clay Banks on Unsplash

The Self-Care Series has been great fun to write, and I hope you’ve found some helpful tips and ideas for making simple, small changes to your daily routines. With a new year just around the corner, now is a great time to reflect on what’s working well in your life (and keep doing it!) and to notice aspects of your life and well-being that are not what you would like them to be. 

If you’re ready to make some changes in your habits, go back to our first installment of The Self-Care Series, and use it as a guide to making a Self-Care Resolution for the coming year. All the best to you in 2020 and beyond!

The Self-Care Series is authored by Kirstin Pinit. Kirstin teaches the art of self-care through creative, engaging, and practical habit-change programs. She is a certified coach and yoga teacher and consults with cities, communities, companies, and groups on behavior-change programs and strategies. Learn more about her work at www.kirstinpinit.com.

The holiday season is here. Along with all the fun this time of year can bring, challenging relationships can really bring on the stress. Whether the friction sparks a big blow up or it smolders under the surface, stressful relationships can put a damper on the season, and take a toll on your well-being. 

I sat down with Lael Petersen, Life Coach and Licensed Clinical Social Worker to get some tips on how to navigate relationship challenges. Read our informative conversation below.

Photo by Hilary Foreman, Lightheart Society

Kirstin: With the holidays upon us, the potential for relationship challenges is intensified. What do we need to understand about ourselves that will help us enjoy the holidays without the stress? 

Lael: We need to understand fear. Fear makes things feel larger and scarier than they are. When fear is activated, we don’t think clearly and can’t come up with options. When fear is in control, we tend to stay stuck in old patterns, repeating the same tensions, arguments, and hurt feelings year after year. 

Kirstin: What is the first thing you would tell one of your coaching clients if she was feeling the fear of a holiday-induced relationship meltdown? 

Lael: Permission. You have the right to have a happy holiday. You have permission to NOT spend time with people who are challenging. You have permission to CHANGE how you spend time with the person. You have CONTROL over how you interact with the people around you. 

Kirstin: Permission to put yourself first is a big growth area for a lot of us. Why is this so challenging? 

Lael: Permission brings up our beliefs about what good a person would do or not do. If there is tension between who you really are and who you believe you are supposed to be, it feels uncomfortable. You might feel the anxiety rising right now just talking about doing things differently. 

Kirstin: Yes! It feels a little edgy to think about doing things differently. Let’s say I have pretty good relationships with most of my family, but I don’t always feel like I can totally be myself with them. What do you suggest? 

Lael: I have three tips for you. First, identify your intention for the season, and keep it top of mind from now until the new year. If your intention is to make the holidays more about experiences than gift-giving, fancy dinners, traveling, etc., keep that in mind when planning events and accepting or declining invitations. 

Kirstin: Focusing on an intention is so important, but easy to lose track of in the frenzy of the holidays. What do you suggest? 

Lael: You have to keep reminding yourself! Write your intention on a post-it note and place it where you’ll see it – your bathroom mirror, the refrigerator, the dashboard of your car – so you’ll be reminded. Another way is to share your intention with someone you trust and who will hold you accountable. 

Kirstin: That first tip was a twofer. Set an intention. Then, find ways to keep your intention top of mind so you’re less likely to fall back into old patterns. What are your other two tips? 

Lael: The other two tips are about planning ahead to set yourself up for success. Prepare and rehearse a few one-liners that will help you change the energy or the subject when needed. For example, “Oh Mom, Let’s not go there today. Let’s just enjoy the holiday.” A one-liner like that one will allow you to change the subject without too much drama. 

The other part of planning ahead is to put support in place ahead of time. Make a plan with your partner, favorite cousin, or compassionate co-worker who can provide support, distractions, or help you ease out of an uncomfortable conversation if needed. 

Kirstin: Enlisting help is a good strategy for accountability and support. Anything else before we wrap this up? 

Lael: Don’t forget to celebrate your success with a reward that will reinforce your intentions and habits for navigating relationship challenges. I don’t mean reward yourself with a cookie and a tall glass of eggnog. Text your trusted support person. Tell yourself, “good job!” and smile at your wins. You’re doing great work to create a more merry holiday, and setting the stage for healthier relationships all year long.

Photo by Rawpixel on Unsplash

Let’s Review Lael’s Tips for a Calm and Happy Holiday

1. Understand the Role of Fear. Fear is your inner voice alerting you to possible “danger,” such as the tension between family members or the too-high expectations you feel at work. Thank your fear for the information, and then take a couple deep breaths. Once you’re calm, make a plan for how you will respond to the challenges fear helped you identify. 
2. Set an Intention. Take 30 minutes to journal about what you want to do, have, and feel this holiday season. Then write about why this is important to you. Finally, choose a word or short phrase that will remind you of this intention. Post it on your bathroom mirror so you can be reminded of it every day. 
3. Plan Your One-Liners. Think about the likely interactions that may ruffle your feathers, and pick one or two one-liners that you can use when needed. It’s not crazy to practice this with your spouse or a friend so they come out naturally, even when you’re a little flustered. 
4. Get Support From Trusted Friends and Family. Grab chai with a friend and talk about your intention, your one-liners, and ask for support. Make a plan to text your friend when you are feeling stressed, or for her to check in on you each week. 
5. Give Yourself Permission to Have a Happy Holiday. ‘Nuff said. You deserve to be as happy as anyone else.  

I hope you’ll try a few of these tips over the coming weeks. With some pre-planning and support, you can navigate relationship challenges with confidence and ease. 

How will you create the holiday you truly want this year?